Horror

This month, July 2014, has been the MOST stressful week of my entire life. Not even exaggerating. Let’s recap (in chronological order):

  1. Put in my 2 weeks notice at current job (July 4th)
  2. New job starting on the 21st
  3. Looked at, and signed, an apartment lease which is going to cost upwards of 870+ for rent & basic utilities (July 18)
  4. Car broke down at night (July 18 – midnight)
  5. Quickly looked at two cars and bought one – THANKS TO BUGGIE (July 19 – morning)
  6. Sold broken car to a really sketchy guy (July 19 – mid day)
  7. Drove back from airport from dropping off Buggie (July 20 – morning)
  8. While driving new car back, it started making a weird noise (July 20 – morning)
  9. I need to get home tonight with new car… hopefully weird noise is just loose lug nuts… if not then I’m pretty much screwed.  (July 20 – TBD)
  10. Buggie will be back on the 27th, and I will need to pick him up. (July 27)
  11. Buggie will be gone 28th – Aug 1?  for work trip
  12. Aug 9 – apartment move in date

July isn’t even over yet and I start my new job tomorrow. My car also still isn’t registered (though I am insured, thank goodness). What a clusterfuck of events and what a great way to test our relationship /s

I’ve been doing a great job of keeping it together (all this stress has been making me moody, but I haven’t snapped or broke down crying yet), so I think I’ll be okay… for now. My boyfriend’s been kinda all over with everything that’s going on, but that’s totally understandable. He is my rock and I am his squishy. We are going to get through this.

Another Sleepless Night

I can’t sleep. Too much on my mind – money, moving, jobs, self image, car, relationship, etc. This is supposed to be such a big leap forward in my life… Except it’s all extremely overwhelming. Things floating in my head:

  1. My boyfriend will be gone for two weeks while I start my new job.
  2. I’m going to be signing a lease for an apartment.
  3. My driving skills are average at best & I need to commute.
  4. I need to buy a lot of stuff.
  5. I’m afraid my car won’t make it.
  6. My diet has been quite awful lately & I’ve gained 2 pounds.
  7. School loans are eating at my brain.
  8. I’m afraid I won’t be financially okay.
  9. I’m nervous about the work culture & environment.
  10. Living alone & by myself is something I’ve never done before.
  11. Will I be able to afford this lifestyle?
  12. Why haven’t I brushed up on my design/coding skills yet? Clock is ticking.
  13. How will I manage all my home tasks now that I’m on my own?
  14. What about car insurance, utilities, etc?

This is just the beginning of it all and my mind won’t stop until I give in.

Recall

I’ve had a little change of heart regarding the whole settling down thing. Not too long ago I fancied the idea of getting married and starting a life with the person whom I chose to share it with. It was all so exciting to think about.

Now it’s something I don’t want to partake in, not at this time or for the next few years actually. I’ve really grown, but there’s shoes I’m still trying to fill that will define who I will become. Same with him.

It wasn’t a sudden thing, but a gradual one. And I feel it’s the right choice.

Living

There is so much going on (in a good way, of course). It just feels amazing being in your mid-twenties and finally having your shit together.

Hello

I am officially an aunt! Little Rose was born two days ago and she is so tiny & precious. Very quiet (so far) for a newborn. Holding her makes me envision myself and my future. Maybe someday. But I don’t think me or my SO will ever be ready for that level of responsibility though. Definitely not my SO… definitely not.