Camaraderie

You know, it’s nice having a dog. If not for her I’d still be in constant solitude, still living at my old apartment, and being constantly depressed. I was thinking about that the other day, how empty I’d feel if she didn’t exist. She happily greets me when I get home, we play together… It’s nice having this little being around. She’s a little troublemaker, but I love her so.

Hazy days

Thinking of last year until now, it’s been quite a ride. I’m no longer the socially weird girl with bad anxiety; I’ve become one step closer to being the person I’ve always wanted to be and it’s largely due to getting professional help. I’m calm, rational, and happier than I’ve ever been.

Owner

Earlier this month I officially started my own little venture. So most of the paperwork is completed – just waiting for a few bank and state papers. This is a huge fantasy come true should it be profitable. But, as exhilarating as it is, you know how they say 9 out of 10 start ups fail? I’ve come into this realizing that it will most likely fail; if it succeeds I’d be very surprised. The problem I’ve ran into is securing enough capital and that my products are more of a novelty than it is a necessity…

Since starting this little boutique of mine, I’ve stopped buying luxuries and have focused on how to better utilize my money – no more clothes, coffees, lunches, etc. Instead the focus has shifted to being more fiscally responsible.

Anyway, that’s what I’ve been up to. Will report back with progress.

Reasons

I have to get this off my chest because it’s been bothering me so. Friday K came over to inspect the damage on the car. While and after examining the car, he said some condescending things to me, though I can’t remember what exactly was said. His tone and attitude was demeaning, and as he rambled on, a little voice in my head said “this is going to be your life”.

Things happen, that’s life. I felt bad enough about the situation and yes I understand how upsetting something like that could be. But the way he spoke to me was not helping. It was almost degrading, humiliating. This situation kind of eyeopening because he seemed calm and level-headed a few days prior. And now the only thing swirling in my head is “thank goodness we didn’t have more shared items”.

I’m done crying over him and will not let myself fall into that lifestyle.

Stressed

I did some damage to my boyfriend’s/my future car and it’s left me feeling down. Mainly because it’s the only real nice thing I have and because it wasn’t intentional. I feel so awful about it.