Whatever

So today I accidentally found my boyfriend’s trophy stash featuring him, the ex girlfriend, and their bedroom olympics. There was a lot of mixed emotions going on and for a bit I wasn’t sure what to think. Some of my verbiage may have come off as really colorful in the moment.

I’ve had time to calm my mind, reflect and think about what and why it bothers me. Firstly, I’m not upset at his past as that would be a pretty inconsiderate thing to make a stink over. Everyone has a past and we have all done stupid shit. Secondly, I wasn’t even trying to snoop either (I learned that mistake a long, long time ago…). Having backed up my hard drive onto his external, I was trying to find a very specific image to add to the proposal I’m working on and happened to come across everything via search tool.

Seeing everything was kind of a shock really. I don’t want to be that bitch person who guilts him or makes him feel bad for petty shit, or having him go through hoops to apologize for something he shouldn’t even be sorry about. And I don’t want to be the adult girlfriend whose emotional maturity is that of a 15 year olds. I’m better than that and he honestly is a great person.

So why is it kind of a big deal? I guess the thing that bugs me is that he specifically said he removed them… that was 2 years ago. Just coming upon everything… that was just really unexpected. Anyway, I don’t really want to think about it anymore or make a fuss as my time and energy is better spent devoted on projects and monetary experiments.

It’s whatever.

Focal

I think I’d be a lot more successful if I could actually focus. So many distractions and random thoughts. Speaking of random thoughts, I think I’m going to sign myself up for a hang gliding, kayaking, or scuba diving class.

Candid

I feel like a fool and it’s frustrating. No matter what I do or how things turn it, it always seem as if they (my parents) are always right.

Spendy

Remember that one time you wanted to save money? Well THAT’s not going to happen any time soon.

To want and to have

Something has been flirting with my mind lately. It would have never been, but it is something fun to think about I suppose. I have something amazing, but I find myself yearning for that which I cannot have. It’s human nature (naturally), but still. This will be the cause of my own downfall, I am the root of my own misery.

Oh Dear.

I may or may not have an online shopping addiction… hint: I do.

It’s not becoming something that’s life & bank threatening yet, but we all know bad habits are hard to break. Let’s not turn this into an occurring theme.

DO YOU WANT TO STAY POOR?

Because not having any dreams, being unmotivated, not taking action is how you stay poor.

So many projects I want to take on, but either not motivated, no creative outlet, or not enough time. I can do this, though. I will do this.