I feel as if I’m going through a growth transition in my life and for once I have accomplished something important.
After three month’s worth of pestering my superiors, and patiently waiting it out, I finally got a raise. It’s very rare that raises are even given out at my workplace, so it came as a pleasant and grateful surprise. It’s a decent amount too, which means I should be financially stable now for a while. I’ll probably be sticking around my workplace for another year or two. A little bit more and I’ll have exceeded my monetary goal for when I hit 30.
Piggybacking off that, it’s time to start “building my nest”, or getting serious about my future and home life. I have puppy who fills my heart with joy and a nurturing boyfriend. K and I, we’ve planned to live together again in spring. Though we’re doing very well and it’d be nice to come home to him, I also feel very conflicted. I’m growing quickly in my career and ready to settle down whereas his focus is more on video games… … … Our priorities are completely different.
Although we dated on and off, we’ve spent almost every weekend with each other, even while our relationship was on hold. We will have known each other six years come August and it really bothers me that we haven’t really progressed… That and we’ve already did the whole living together thing.
We’ve also talked about our wants and futures, but I don’t know. He wants to play house whereas I want to get engaged before wasting more time & getting suckered into a brick wall. He knows it, but has never brought up the engagement or marriage thing, nor has it ever been an original idea from him; it always felt like it was an idea that was forced upon him or something I planted in his head.
There’s a deadline in my mind and it’s ticking away. Six years is a very long time. I need to be with someone who will give me the commitment I’m looking for because they want to and because it feels right to them.
I love him, I truely really do. But our priorities are just not on track at all and that’s very worrisome. As much as we love each other, however much time we’ve put in, sometimes things just don’t or can’t work out. And if or when that happens, there’s absolutely no trying again, no turning back.
I want to find my better half and it will happen someday. I have regained confidence and owe it to myself. I never, ever want to be that pathetic ever again. Because REMEMBER: ultimatums don’t work. It should never have to come to that.